


Time, Truth, and Hearts

by undersomestairs



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Arranged Marriage, F/M, Genderswap, Girl!Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-08
Updated: 2011-01-08
Packaged: 2017-10-22 09:52:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/236770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undersomestairs/pseuds/undersomestairs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Genderswap canon!AU. At twelve years old, Prince Arthur of Camelot is betrothed to Princess Merlin of Ealdor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time, Truth, and Hearts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chicaintcheap on Livejournal](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=chicaintcheap+on+Livejournal).



Arthur gazed out over the courtyard, frowning as he was yet again unable to spot any royalty. “I don’t see them.”

“Have patience.” Uther’s voice was as authoritative as ever, always the king before the father. Arthur shifted restlessly- patience was not the easiest task for a twelve year old boy.

“But what does she look like?” he badgered, channeling his nervousness into eager curiosity. He was waiting to see the future queen of Camelot- this visit was meant to finalize the agreement that he would someday marry the princess of Ealdor, uniting their kingdoms.

“I don’t know, Arthur. I’ve never met the princess. Please, be still.”

Arthur hoped she’d be pretty, and kind, and intelligent, and smell nice. That was probably his favorite thing about the princesses and noble ladies who visited Camelot, when he thought about it- the sweet perfumes that made it so easy to put up with their fawning and occasional cheek pinching. He also liked it when their hair was long and soft, and when they smiled at him, because they always had such gentle smiles.

He shifted again, horribly anxious to see _his_ princess.

It felt like hours before the horses entered the courtyard, steadily moving towards where they waited on the castle steps. Arthur recognized Balinor and his wife from previous visits, and perked up with excitement, only to feel it seep away slowly. The third horse carried a very small girl, who couldn’t have been older than six.

“Where is the princess?” he complained, because it didn’t seem fair for him to wait nervously all that time to just have her not show up like they’d said she would. His father gave him a look that conveyed some concern for his mental well-being.

“Don’t ask silly questions, Arthur,” Uther commanded, and the little prince felt his stomach drop as he finally figured it out. _Oh._

“But she’s a child!” Arthur objected, scowling when his father scoffed.

“You’re both children. You won’t marry until you’re much older- we’re just making the arrangements in advance. When you’re king, you will know how important it is to prepare for the future.”

Arthur watched as the small girl was helped down from her horse and tried not to sigh- his father had told him many times that this was just one of the many duties he owed his kingdom (and the kingdom of Ealdor that would one day be his) and he supposed he would just have to make the best of it.

*

Arthur’s initial impression of the little princess Merlin had been _shy_ , but then Uther had suggested Arthur take her for a ride around Camelot to show her the kingdom and make her feel welcome and bond with her and plenty of other reasons that really meant _give the adults time to relax and do business without children around_ , and he wasn’t sure he’d ever heard a girl talk as much as Merlin did. She never seemed to run out of things to say, telling him all about their journey and what she thought of Camelot and what Ealdor was like and the people she knew and what she liked to do there. Her stories were entertaining, though, and he took comfort in that- if he did in fact end up with a queen who never closed her mouth, at least he’d be amused.

He could tell she was getting restless on her horse (and he didn’t blame her, considering she hadn’t had much time to rest between arriving in Camelot and hopping right back on to go exploring) and he turned them in the direction of a nearby creek- a place he often liked to go to relax and reflect. He had always been opposed to the idea of sharing his natural paradise with anyone before, but with Merlin it felt safe, like she belonged there just as much as he did.

“We can stop here for a while,” he told her, not missing the relief on her face as he helped her off her horse. He let her run off ahead towards the water, not really sure of what to do with her. He hadn’t been around children her age since he _was_ her age, and that felt like an awfully long time ago. He just figured as long as he didn’t bring her back dead, injured, or crying, his father would be satisfied.

He smiled fondly as she found the stones that formed something of a path along one section of the creek, and jumped along them just as he sometimes did, enjoying the carefree way that she hopped from rock to rock, and it didn’t occur to him that she wouldn’t already know about the especially slippery rock that he always had to be particularly careful on until her foot was sliding out from under her and it was like the world was moving in slow motion as he watched her fall.

“Merlin!” he shouted, running across the stones and feeling panic because the creek was filled with the cold water running down from the mountains and moving fairly quickly, and the thought of her being swept away and not knowing how to swim, or just not being strong enough to fight against the water made him feel sick. She somehow managed to hang on to the edge of the rock, and Arthur’s heart was racing as he grabbed her arms and pulled her out of the water.

She was still shivering and sobbing into his chest when he’d carried her back to the horses, but miraculously appeared to be physically unharmed. He set her down and removed his jacket, using the dry areas to wipe her face and hair as she rung out the ends of her dress, still giving soft whimpers- no doubt terrified from nearly drowning.

“You were very lucky,” he told her softly, sitting on the grass next to her. “I know it was scary, but you’re alright now. The first time I fell off that rock, I twisted my ankle.”

She looked up at him, surprise in her big blue eyes. “Did it hurt?”

“Oh, yeah. I even cried, but only a little.”

“You _cried_?” she demanded, and Arthur was pleased to see that her own tears had been forgotten. “Will says boys never cry.”

“Who’s Will?”

“He’s my nurse’s son. I have to play with him sometimes, and then sometimes he trips me or tugs on my ears.” She pouted, and he chuckled as he shifted to lay on his back.

“Next time, you tell him that Prince Arthur Pendragon is going to come after him if he messes with his princess,” he instructed, and saw her grin before he shut his eyes, relaxing in the gentle warmth the sun provided. “Let’s stay here until you dry off, okay?”

She agreed quickly, and then launched back into her happy chattering. Part of him was surprised by how little response she needed to keep a conversation going for so long, but he was mostly content to listen to every new direction her imagination took her while she absentmindedly braided small strands of his hair.

*

Arthur was actually rather sad to see Merlin go. She had been an entertaining presence in the castle for the week they stayed, always shy around everyone but her parents and, for some reason he still couldn’t quite figure out, Arthur. She would run up to him whenever she saw him, ready to talk his ear off about all the new experiences Camelot had offered her since the last time they’d spoken. There was often repetition, but Arthur found he didn’t mind too much, because the combination of facial expressions she used would always make it new.

He followed his father down to where the family stood with their horses ready, and Uther said his goodbyes before allowing Arthur to do the same. He came to Merlin last, and before he even had a chance to speak, her arms were around his middle and she was hugging him tightly, and he could see the small smile on her face.

“Goodbye, Arthur,” she murmured against the cloth of his shirt, and he couldn’t help but smile back, wrapping his arms around her to give her a quick squeeze in return.

“Have a safe trip, Merlin.”

He watched them ride out of sight, thinking about if she was to be his princess… well, he was quite alright with that.

 

***

 

“Do you think she’ll be different?” Arthur asked his father, standing with him on the castle steps to wait, just as they had three years before. Arthur had been thinking about the arrival of the Ealdor royal family for weeks, remembering his time with Merlin fondly. She’d been so young then, though. He knew how drastically children changed with every passing year- how drastically he himself had changed, from twelve to fifteen.

But he remembered how much he’d enjoyed Merlin’s uninhibited, genuine nature, and prayed she hadn’t lost that vibrant spirit as she was taught to be a lady. He’d met so many princesses who were so boring and dim-witted, too concerned with their looks and manners and catching his attention to be at all interesting, and while he’d had simple hopes for his future bride at first, he’d come to expect more from her after actually getting to know her.

He just hoped she hadn’t changed _too_ much.

“Most likely,” Uther reasoned. “She was quite young before. I’m sure she’ll be learning more about how to act at court.”

His father clearly didn’t value the same traits that Arthur did, and he sighed as they waited. And waited. It was nearly dark by the time the horses arrived, and Arthur’s eyes immediately searched for Merlin- not on her own horse, but on Balinor’s, tucked into his chest.

“I apologize for the delay, Uther. I’m afraid Merlin fell ill on our journey.”

Arthur frowned, itching to be involved in helping her off the horse. She was _his_ princess, his to protect, and he stepped forward once she’d been helped down. “I’ll take her to the court physician,” he offered, a bit forcefully. “I’ll make sure he helps her.”

He could tell that she was still half-asleep, her eyes drooping as she sniffled and her dress rumpled, as he carefully lifted her before anyone could object. “That’s very kind of you, Arthur.” Balinor nodded his approval, and Arthur responded with a slight nod before turning in the direction of Gaius’ chambers, trying to hurry without disturbing Merlin. She had tucked her head against his neck, and he could feel the heat of her fever against his skin.

“Gaius!” he called, letting himself in without knocking because his princess was sick and whatever the physician was doing could wait until she was better.

“What’s happened?” Gaius eyed Merlin with a frown, leading Arthur to a cot to lay her down.

“They said she got sick while they were traveling. I think she has a fever. She’ll be alright, won’t she? It’s nothing serious?”

“I can’t say for sure without knowing what’s wrong with her,” Gaius stated, seeing Arthur’s concern and quickly adding, “but I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

Arthur bit his lip, desperate for her to get well. He’d had three years to imagine Merlin growing up to become his queen, and had become used to the idea. He had absolutely no interest in letting that change now. “What can I do to help?”

*

He sat at the edge of her bed, gently rubbing the wet cloth against her forehead. Her fever wasn’t as high as it had been when she’d arrived and she’d been moved to her own room to rest for the night. Arthur had showed up as soon as he could the next morning, giving Hunith time to rest after spending the night watching over her daughter, who they were all happy to see was improving rapidly.

Arthur still wanted to keep her as comfortable as possible, willing to do anything to make himself feel productive, which mostly consisted of cooling her down with the cloth. He grinned when she opened her eyes slowly, deep blue and looking up at him.

“Arthur?”

“Good afternoon, Merlin. It’s nice to see you awake.” He smiled cheerfully, and was gifted with a weak smile in return. It vanished as she coughed, and he frowned sympathetically. “Here, take this. Gaius brought it up earlier.”

He held the vial to her lips, helping her drink and brushing hair out of her face. “Thank you, my lord.”

He smiled, resting his hand on her forehead. “You’re nearly back to normal. Gaius said you’re healing miraculously quickly.”

“I’ve always been a fast healer.” Her eyes closed as he stroked her cheek.

“That’s good to hear. I’ll need a healthy queen at my side.” He dropped his hand back to his lap, watching her for a moment before quietly admitting, “I was very worried.”

“You don’t need to worry about me, Arthur,” she mumbled, a faint blush creeping over her cheeks. “I’m not fragile like other princesses.”

“No, you’re very different from the others, I know,” he assured, grinning. “And you should stay that way, alright? I like that you’re not like all the rest. It’s my favorite thing about you.” And it was- he loved thinking about the future, when they would both be older and he would have a wife who was unique and special and his.

“I won’t,” she promised eagerly, trembling as she was struck with another coughing fit, and Arthur stroked her hair until it passed and she drifted off to sleep again. He brought her hand to his lips, lightly kissing the knuckles, before tucking the sheets around her and letting her rest.

 

***

 

Ealdor was larger than Arthur had imagined. He’d only been there once before, when he was too young to remember, and now, being the crown prince of Camelot, it was due time he saw the kingdom that would someday unite with his.

And, after five years, far _past_ due time for him to see Merlin again.

He was disappointed when she was not there to greet him, as he’d pictured the entire trip. She would be fourteen now, he knew- an image of the woman she’d become, his queen to be.

Balinor told him there would be a small feast in honor of his arrival, and he had to repeatedly fight the urge to ask. _‘Where’s Merlin?’_ he wanted to say. _‘Why isn’t she here? Is something wrong?’_ He was practically twitching with impatience, but he kept his mouth shut, because that was the proper (and very, very frustrating) way to do things.

He was close to just not caring anymore as they settled down in their chairs, piles of food in front of them, because he’d been waiting for hours since he’d arrived, for days since he’d started his journey to Ealdor, for years since he’d last seen his princess- and then the doors opened, and he saw her.

Her dress was a deep blue and ornately decorated, a silver belt cinching it tightly around her waist- hair hanging down in gentle curls, dark against her pale skin, but not fully covering what was visible above the low cut of the dress- she was definitely well on her way to womanhood, Arthur noted, and tried not to stare so long that anyone would notice where his gaze was fixated.

“Merlin,” he greeted happily, standing to pull her chair out for her. “It’s wonderful to see you again. You look absolutely stunning this evening.” She smiled- it didn’t exactly reach her eyes, he noticed- and bowed her head in thanks.

“A pleasure to see you too, Arthur. I hope you’re in good health?” She was stiff, formal, asking out of politeness instead of interest. Arthur’s heart sank, and he just prayed she was acting that way because she was in front of the court, or she wasn’t feeling well, or she didn’t want to appear too eager to see him, or anything that wasn’t simply because her fun and interesting personality had been wiped out in favor of the need to be ladylike. Though appraising her then, he could say with confidence that if that were the case, he would at least have something very nice to look at. And that wasn’t the worst thing, really, though he’d expected so much more from her.

*

He sought out her chambers that night, sneaking past servants and guards (which, he had to admit, was rather thrilling) until he reached her door. He hadn’t managed to get her alone during or after the feast, and he was anxious to find out if something was wrong, or if she’d truly just changed.

He slipped inside, almost immediately spotting Merlin’s silhouette behind the dressing screen and looking away- he had given up on being proper, yes, but he was still aware of what crossed the line into just inappropriate.

“Gwen? I told you that you could-” Arthur could see Merlin step out from behind the screen, and heard the quick intake of break. “Arthur.”

She hadn’t hidden herself, so Arthur assumed it was safe to look up. She was fully covered in her nightgown- again, teasingly low-cut- and her hair was pulled back in a long braid. Arthur’s eyes were instantly drawn to her ears, which stuck out more than any he’d ever seen before, and yet were oddly alluring. She noticed him staring and brought her hands up to cover them, a bright red blush spreading across her cheeks, and he moved closer, gently tugging her wrists back down.

“People usually don’t see them. I always have my hair down,” she mumbled, obviously embarrassed, and he shook his head.

“They’re lovely.” He reached up to run his thumb along the shell of her ear, and she looked down and breathed a soft sigh.

“What are you doing here, Arthur?”

“I’m here to get a better look at Ealdor. This trip was planned weeks ago. Did no one tell you I was coming?”

She shook her head, annoyed. “I meant, more specifically, what are you doing _in my chambers_?”

“Oh. Well, I came to see you,” he explained simply, beaming when he detected something like exasperated fondness in her eyes. “You seemed… off, at the feast.”

And then it was gone, back to the formality of blank expressions. “I was perfectly fine.” She glanced from him to the door and back. “You really shouldn’t be here. I’m sure my father wouldn’t like to know you snuck in here late at night.”

“Best we don’t tell him, then.” He grinned playfully, and was happy to see the little spark of affection was back. “I’m just here to talk,” he assured, moving to sit at the end of her bed and making himself comfortable. “I need to know more about the woman I’ll be wooing in a few short years.”

Merlin scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest (which was more than a little bit delightful, Arthur couldn’t help but notice). “There’s no reason to woo what has already been given to you.” She sounded so bitter that it made Arthur pause.

“Do you not want to marry me, Princess?” he finally asked, watching her closely but she wouldn’t meet his gaze. “You won’t be forced to do anything you don’t want to do. You must know that.”

“It’s not- not that I don’t want to.” She sat next to him, seeming to deflate. “Have you ever been in love? Have you ever wished it would be your decision? Marrying because you _get_ to, and not because you _have_ to?”

He considered it, choosing his words carefully. “I was young when we were betrothed,” he reminded her. “Not anywhere near old enough for love. It was all arranged before I could care about choosing my own wife. I’ve never wished for anything else.” _‘But do I love her?’_ he wondered. He loved the idea of her, very much so, but he didn’t know her, and he didn’t know the person she would grow into. He couldn’t love her, without knowing, but he _wanted_ to. “No. No, I’ve never been in love.” He turned his head to watch her for a moment. “Have you?”

She shrugged, then shook her head. “No, not in love. There was… a noble’s son, who- I liked him. But I knew nothing could ever come of it, and it was so frustrating, to not have a choice.”

“You always have a choice. I would never have you marry me if it was not what you wanted. Your father would understand, I’m sure.” He took a deep breath, bracing himself for disappointment. “Is that what you want? To marry someone of your choosing?”

She stared at him, taking a moment to think before offering a small smile. “No. I’ll be honored to marry you, Arthur. You really shouldn’t be here, though. I’m in my nightgown, it’s indecent.”

He recognized her smirk, the familiar light in her eyes, and laughed, filled with relief. “I suppose it is. I’ll leave, but only if you promise you’ll spend time with me tomorrow.”

“Deal,” she agreed, and he leaned over, pressing a light kiss to the soft skin of her cheek, which instantly blushed pink.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Bright and early, I hope,” he added, grinning as he backed up slowly towards the door. “Goodnight, my lady.”

“Goodnight, Arthur,” she replied softly, and he watched her fond, gentle smile until he finally had to turn, sneaking back out to the castle halls to make his way back to his guest chambers.

 

***

 

Arthur wasn’t waiting for Merlin on the castle steps as he had every other time she’d visited Camelot- though he longed to be. Instead he was stuck in a meeting with his father and some of their best knights, talking about the gods know what because all Arthur cared about was the fact that Merlin would be walking in _any minute_ , and he’d finally get to see the woman who would be his queen before the year was out.

The three years since he’d last seen her had seemed excruciatingly long. He was so close to getting to see Merlin as a real woman, more than the girl she had been the times they’d met before. He could really appreciate her, _admire_ her as he continued to daydream about all the things he’d be able to do to her once they were married- something that made him feel guilty, because he truly respected his princess, but he really couldn’t help it sometimes.

He practically jumped out of his chair when the doors opened, and Balinor was led in with a smile, and Arthur felt as though he’d had the wind knocked out of him when he saw Merlin. Her dress was a deep, royal purple that fit snuggly over her curves. Again, her breasts were displayed enough to be unfairly tempting, and he had to remind himself that he could look, but not reach out and grab- no matter how much he might want to.

He hardly got a chance to talk to Merlin as the royal families reunited and ate together in the throne room, but took comfort in the fact that she at least looked happy to see him. He could wait a day- he’d wait a lifetime, she was so beautiful- as long as he knew he’d get time with her at some point.

He had to sit through the rest of the meeting when they’d been shown to their respective chambers, mourning the loss of his chance to pursue her. It was late by the time he was allowed to leave, and he trudged to his own chambers, clinging to the knowledge that Merlin was _in the castle_ , and that the next day he’d get to see her and invite her to walk and ride and eat with him, and discover every little thing that had changed since his trip to Ealdor. He wasn’t in his room for more than two minutes when he heard a gentle knock, and his heart seemed to stutter with excitement as he immediately hoped it might be _her_. His face fell when he opened the door to see his best knight, who just chuckled and let himself in.

“Expecting someone else?” Leon teased him, and Arthur gave a half-hearted shrug.

“Not really. Just… hoped.”

“It’s a tiring trip between here and Ealdor. I’m sure the princess is getting some much needed rest, so that she can be bright-eyed for you tomorrow.”

Arthur sighed happily- he remembered that Merlin’s eyes were always bright. Leon watched him, his expression amused, and Arthur finally straightened up in an effort to maintain some princely dignity. “What did you need?” he wondered, confused as to what Leon would have to say to him that he hadn’t said at the meeting.

“I wanted to talk to you about Merlin, actually. I saw the way you looked at her, and I know the wedding’s pretty far off, but it’s never too early to learn how to pleasure a woman. They’ve got this spot, you see, and if you rub-”

“Leon!” Arthur interrupted, unable to keep from blushing, because he hadn’t expected his long time friend’s visit to be about _that_. Leon just rolled his eyes, staring expectantly.

“Be reasonable, Arthur. Do you want to please your princess or not?”

Gods, did he. Arthur bit his lip, finally replying with a hesitant, “A spot, you said?”

*

Arthur reached Merlin’s door just as a servant was arriving with breakfast. He shot her his most charming grin- no matter what she might think, he knew she wouldn’t have the nerve to say anything as he followed her inside, beaming when he saw Merlin’s maidservant brushing through her hair. Merlin glanced over, her eyes stopping on Arthur.

“You really should stop sneaking in my room while I’m in my nightclothes,” she told him, attracting the attention of her maidservant, who scowled suspiciously as she looked between them.

“I didn’t sneak,” Arthur argued playfully. “I came in with your breakfast delivery. Mind if I join you? I’m still quite hungry.”

“Let me get dressed first. Wait outside until Gwen fetches you,” she ordered, and he gave a mock bow.

“Of course, your highness. Don’t keep me waiting too long.”

He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he stepped out into the hall, leaning against the stone. He straightened when Gwen left the chambers, looking at him with a familiar expression- _I don’t trust you, but you’re a prince so I can’t do anything about it._ Normally it would have bothered him, at least a little, but he was preoccupied.

“I’ll just head in then, shall I?” He slipped inside before she could object, quickly joining Merlin at the table. “Good morning, Princess.”

His enthusiasm was rewarded with her bubbling laughter. “Good morning, Arthur. What brings you here when the sun’s barely risen?”

“Food,” he joked, taking a few fresh berries off her plate to pop into his mouth. “But mostly you. I’ve been waiting a long time to see you again.”

“You saw me last night,” she reminded him, raising her eyebrows as he reached for some of her bread, spreading honey over it before managing to eat it all in one bite.

“Well, yes.” He swallowed before continuing. “But we hardly had any time together then, for just the two of us. We have to be properly reunited, catch up on things. Like… has there been anyone else making you wish you could choose who you marry?”

“No, no one like that.” He was warmed by her smile, loving the light blush in her cheeks.

“So you’re still pleased about marrying me?” he asked hopefully, grinning at her reassuring nod. “Wonderful. Any questions for me, then?”

“Are you always going to eat all of my food?” she teased, and he surveyed the platter, realized he’d already consumed a good portion of it, and looked up at her with a grave expression.

“Probably, yes.” He avoided her hand when she reached out to lightly swat his arm, laughing.

“You prat,” she accused, and his attempt at looking offended hardly lasted before dissolving into another grin.

He let her enjoy the rest of her food, dragging her out of the castle as soon as she was finished. They walked all around Camelot, where Arthur did most of the talking, and then Arthur had his manservant ready horses so they could ride out in the fields past the lower town, where Merlin comfortably took control of the conversation. He led them towards the woods, the area where the little creek still ran, and smiled when he saw the recognition cross her face.

“The first day we met. How sentimental of you,” she murmured as she dismounted, walking to the edge of the water to sit down. He joined her, wrapping his arm loosely around her waist and enjoying the feel of her against him as they listened to the running water.

“You’re getting your dress muddy,” he noted, looking down at where the fabric touched the wet soil. She shrugged, though she tugged it closer to her.

“I have to change before the feast tonight anyway. A very special dress, made just for the occasion.” She watched him for a while, finally asking, “Are you nervous?”

“Nervous?”

“About the engagement. About the wedding. About being stuck with me for the rest of your life.”

“No. I’m prepared for tonight, and for the wedding, and happy to know that when I’m king, I’ll have you to be my queen.” He nudged her playfully. “I like you, you know.”

“But you don’t love me.” She looked at him seriously, and he shrugged.

“Maybe not. But I will, given some time. And I think we could be happy together, if you could love me too.”

They stared at each other, Arthur searching her eyes hopefully, and Merlin eventually nodded. “I could.”

*

Her dress was crimson, wound around her middle and flowing to the floor, with patterned jewels and straps crossing her chest and down her arms. Arthur didn’t think he’d ever be able to stop staring- he was already plotting how to get his hands on as much of the dark red cloth as he could so his princess could wear it every day. She was led in by her mother, who urged her towards Arthur, where he stood with knights and other members of the court lining the walls around him, all attention on them.

Arthur stood tall and confident, not letting his nerves have any effect on his beaming smile. He nodded to Merlin, turning to address the nobility. “I’m greatly honored to be standing before you today, in the presence of our most welcome guests, Lord Balinor and his wife, Hunith, and their wonderful daughter, Merlin. Camelot has long since been friendly with Ealdor, and I think it would be a great benefit to both kingdoms if our alliance was made official. Together, our kingdoms would be strong- united, they would be great. And I hope that you, Princess Merlin, share my wish to bring Camelot and Ealdor together.” He paused to kneel, reaching for her hands. “With this in mind, Merlin, I would like to ask you the honor of being my wife.”

She smiled, shy and somewhat guarded. “I would be delighted to be your wife, Arthur.” It was met with light clapping, and Arthur stood with a grin to face the rest of the room again.

“I would like you to enjoy a feast prepared in celebration,” he told them, allowing the guards to lead the way. He kept his hand locked with Merlin’s, lacing their fingers together and pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles.

He was acutely aware when she left the feast hours later, giving a quiet excuse and promising to return shortly but not returning as minute after minute passed by. Arthur excused himself with a practiced smile- his father hardly noticed after the many goblets of freely flowing wine- and made his way straight to Merlin’s room. He found it empty and proceeded to run around the castle, ignoring the guards’ confused and somewhat concerned glances as he passed them, checking everywhere he thought Merlin might go.

His feet halted suddenly when he glimpsed her through a window, the dark red of her dress hardly noticeable out on the dark balcony. He headed towards her at a much slower pace, trying to compose his appearance- he was sure his cheeks were tinged red from dashing through the hallways, and just hoped it wouldn’t be noticeable in the moonlight.

“Merlin,” he called, stepping out onto the balcony with her. She turned, surprised, and shot him a guilty smile.

“I just needed some air,” she explained quickly, instantly alerting him that something was very off. He raised his eyebrows, leaning against the rail next to her.

“It gets stuffy in there,” he agreed, turning to face her. “Tell me honestly,” he pleaded. “Do you not want to marry me?”

“I do.” He looked skeptical, and she sighed. “Truthfully, I do. That’s not it, really.”

“Then what _is_ it?” he wondered, moving closer as he searched her eyes for answers. “You can tell me.”

“I really can’t.” She sounded apologetic, and almost frustrated. “Just… please, trust that it’s not because I don’t want to marry you. I know I’ve said things… but I really do.”

Arthur accepted that. There was still something wrong, and he was still anxious to know what that something was, but it could wait for a time when less drink had been consumed and she wasn’t looking quite so astonishingly beautiful. His arms slipped around her waist, holding her thin frame close. “You promise?”

She laughed quietly, seeming to welcome the embrace. “I promise,” she assured, not resisting as he tilted his head just enough to connect their lips. He didn’t pull away- didn’t think he _could_ , when her breath was a warm puff on his face, her lips were delightfully soft, and her hands reached up to touch his neck and hair in a way that sent wonderful sensations straight to his groin. He tugged her closer, deciding that the whole kissing thing would need to be repeated often and for extended periods of time.

But once they were married, there would be much more than kissing, and his mind drifted to everything they would get to do, and all of the places he would be able to touch her. He craved it, his lips still moving eagerly against her as his hand drifted up, just wanting to _feel,_ if only for a moment.

He had his hand lightly cupped around the gentle curve of her breast when she pushed it away, breaking the kiss and fixing him with an amused stare. “Arthur,” she scolded lightly, shaking her head. “You wouldn’t want your wife to be without her virtue, would you?”

He considered arguing that he wouldn’t mind, as long as he got to have this _now_ , but the small portion of his brain that wasn’t being controlled by the growing heat in his trousers knew better. “Of course not. My apologies, Princess.” He kissed her knuckles, his mouth still tingling from the kiss.

The look in her eyes changed, going from pleased and fond to carefully closed off. There was something there that she was keeping from him, and he wished he had some way to convince her to tell. “I think I ought to go back to my room,” she told him quietly. “Too much wine at the feast.”

“Of course. I’ll escort you.” He held out his arm for her to take, walking slowly to enjoy her company for as long as he could.

*

Arthur groaned as he flipped onto his back, unable to sleep after waking for the fourth time that night. His mind wouldn’t stop playing the kiss over and over, and bloody hell, he _refused_ to wank over it for a third time. It was ridiculous to be so aroused over just a kiss and what couldn’t even be called a grope, but it seemed to have broken the dam that held off a slew of filthy fantasies, which he was now bombarded with. He sighed, staring up at the ceiling. The wedding couldn’t come quickly enough.

The sound of footsteps outside his door made him sit up to listen closer. He’d grown used to the guards quiet steps as they patrolled the hallways, but this was different- hurried, and with the click of a heel. He slipped out of bed and padded over to the door, sticking his head out in time to see the back of Merlin’s head just before she disappeared around a corner.

Frowning, he went to his dresser and blindly found a shirt and trousers to switch into. It was more of a struggle to locate his boots and get them on in the dark, every second feeling longer as Merlin got farther away, but he was finally fully dressed. He stopped to glance out his window, the sky slowly getting lighter, and watched as a figure that looked very Merlinesque snuck past a guard towards the stables- something that struck Arthur as a Very Bad Sign.

She was nearly finished saddling the horse when he reached the stables, watching her fumble for straps in her attempts to hurry. He stepped forward, clearing her throat and not feeling too surprised when she jumped and turned towards him with wide, almost terrified eyes.

“Arthur,” she squeaked out, pressing back against the side of the horse. “What are you doing here? It’s- It’s so early, I would think you’d be sleeping.”

“I think I could ask you the same question.” He tried not to appear bothered, but his smile was tight. “Where were you off to at this hour?”

“I just wanted to go for an early ride. It’s something I do in Ealdor,” she explained, but he had a strong suspicion that she was lying through her teeth. He eyed the bundle she’d attached to the back of the saddle.

“You brought along supplies for your ride?”

She followed his gaze, staring for a moment- he could nearly see her mind scrambling for some sort of excuse. “It’s breakfast,” she told him, smiling in a way that he was sure was meant to be calm and assuring. “I figured I might get hungry before I could make it back.”

“That’s a lot of breakfast. You must get very hungry.” She nodded, and he didn’t miss the shaking of her hands as she went back to tightening the saddle. “But surely you have enough to share? I’d love to accompany you on your ride.”

She froze, turning to him with a pained smile. “It’s very kind of you to offer, but it’s not necessary. I’ll be fine on my own.”

“No, really, I’d love to come. You know I love spending time with you.” Arthur really did, and that was the worst part of it all- he really _liked_ her, had waited so long for her, and now she was clearly trying to deceive him. Trying to run away from him, it looked like.

She closed her eyes, breathing out slowly, before giving a short nod. “Fine,” she murmured, the aggravation rolling off of her in waves, but he ignored it, saddling his own horse. He was luckily ready just after she was, and was able to follow her out even though she didn’t wait for him. The guards were too confused by the sight of them to stop them, and in minutes they were past the lower town and riding- rather quickly, but Arthur wasn’t about to let her lose him- towards the cover of the woods. Merlin slowed as they reached the trees, and Arthur caught the irritated look she sent his way.

“Why don’t we stop to eat?” he suggested, the sun fully shining. She rode for a few more minutes before finally stopping her horse with an unhappy grunt.

“Alright.” She dismounted, opening her pack enough for her to reach in, but not letting Arthur get a glimpse inside. Arthur slipped down off his horse, accepting the meat and cheese she offered him and watching as she took frustrated bites and pointedly avoided looking at him.

“You were going to leave, weren’t you?” he asked, trying to keep his voice calm. She glanced up quickly, her shoulders slumping.

“That was the plan,” she admitted quietly, as if she didn’t want to be telling him but didn’t see a point in lying.

“So you don’t want to marry me,” he stated, and she rolled her eyes.

“Stop with that, would you? It’s not all about you, Arthur. There’s nothing _wrong_ with you, it’s not about that.”

“Then tell me what it’s about,” he demanded. Merlin crossed her arms over her chest, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. “Merlin, you can tell me _anything._ What is so horrible that you were just going to run away without telling anyone?”

She bit her lip, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “I’m- Er, I…” She gestured vaguely as she tried to find the words, suddenly pausing. “Did you hear-”

At first he thought she was trying to distract him, but then he heard a branch crack in the deeper woods to his left, followed by one to his right. Merlin’s gasped ‘Arthur!’ as she looked past him didn’t even give him time to fully turn and face his attacker before he felt the impact of something blunt against his head and everything went dark.

*

The first thing he registered was _pain_. His head was throbbing, concentrated in the back of his skull, and he couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything but grit his teeth and keep his eyes shut tight. His stomach was churning as he sucked in harsh breaths, just trying to master the pain and block it out.

He opened his eyes and instantly regretted it- the world spun and he turned to the side, violently expelling the contents of his stomach. He panted, spitting, waiting until the pain had faded and his stomach had settled before attempting to see again. His vision was fuzzy for a moment, finally clearing to reveal a dark stone floor.

It was a cell, bigger than those in Camelot’s dungeons (which wasn’t all that comforting, really). A single guard stood watch on the other side of the bars, and to his right he saw Merlin, slumped in the corner and not moving. Arthur slowly shifted to his knees, avoiding his sick as he crawled across the floor to her.

“Merlin,” he rasped out, gently shaking her. “Merlin, wake up. Please, wake up.”

She stirred, groaning as her eyes fluttered to a half-lidded state. “Wha- What?” She slowly scanned the cell and looked at him. “Arthur… oh gods, are you alright? Your head…”

“I’m fine. I’ll be fine,” he amended, sitting down next to her and leaning back against the wall for support. “We have to get out of here.” He looked back to the guard and saw that two more had joined him. “Perfect,” he muttered, his brain not working on a strategy as quickly as he would like. Merlin struggled, and he realized her hands were chained behind her back. She glared at the guards, her expression quickly changing into a confused frown.

A guard laughed, stepping closer to the bars. “That’s enchanted silver, sorceress. Your magic won’t help you.”

Arthur looked between them as she glared again, quickly seeing an upside. “They think you have magic,” he murmured, low enough for just her to hear. “You can threaten them, frighten them into releasing us.”

She stared at him, her eyebrows raised. “Did you not just hear him?” she hissed back.

“Just say the chains don’t work!”

“But they _do_ work,” she explained slowly, as if talking to a small child who wasn’t quite right in the head. “I can’t do any magic, I tried.”

“Well, you’re not _actually_ magic.” She bit her lip, guilt written all over her face, and he recoiled. “You’re- You have magic?”

“I was going to tell you,” she promised, leaning towards him. “You were asking and I was about to tell you, I swear.”

“You’re a sorceress.” He glanced at the guards, moving further away from her. “Are you working with them?”

“What? Don’t be stupid. Why would I chain myself up?”

“To throw me off! To trick me into trusting you, so you can do… whatever it is you plan on doing with me.”

“Listen to yourself, would you?” she huffed, scowling. “Be reasonable.”

“Be _reasonable_?” he repeated incredulously. “I’ve been engaged to a bloody evil sorceress all this time!”

“I am not evil!” she shouted, clearly offended. “I have never used my magic to hurt anyone, nor have I ever wanted to. Arthur, I’m on your side.” He moved further away from her, staring blankly forward at the snickering guards. He ignored her quiet, “Arthur, _please_ ,” instead concentrating on how to escape. He needed a plan.

It took him a while to stand, having to lean against the wall for a few minutes until his head stopped spinning. He could feel Merlin’s eyes on him, but purposefully ignored her, finally making his way across the cell to hang on to the bars. “What is it that you want with us?” he asked the guards, keeping his expression under control. The guard moved closer, sneering.

“It’s not what _we_ want with you; it’s what Claudas wants from Uther. Figures your king will pay a lot of money to get his only heir back safe and sound.”

 _Held for ransom,_ Arthur thought. _How original._

“And you think you can keep me in here?” Arthur taunted, trying not to grin when the guard moved closer, puffing his chest out.

“Take a look around, _your highness_. No way out, is there?”

“Shouldn’t be too hard to find one. It’s not as if someone like _you_ could ever truly keep me locked up.”

Two more steps was all it took and Arthur was reaching out, gripping at the cloth of the man’s shirt and pulling him forward, hearing the clang as his head hit the bars. Arthur’s hand found the hilt of the guard’s sword and pulled it free from its sheath, running it through the two men who rushed over to help in the struggle. All three of them fell, and Arthur pulled the key ring from the closest man’s belt.

Merlin was staring up at him with wide eyes, not moving as he reached around to try fitting each key in the lock. He smiled when he finally got the right one in, pushing the door to swing it open as he moved to help Merlin up, admittedly being a little less gentle than he could have been.

She didn’t seem to notice. “You’re taking me with you?” Her eyes were shocked, and for a moment Arthur felt terrible that she would ever think he _wouldn’t_ save her, that he would just leave her there to suffer- but then he remembered that he _should_ leave her, because she was a sorceress and a liar and probably had some evil plan to take over Camelot like the rest of her kind always seemed to.

Still, he found himself unable to leave her behind. “Just come on,” he ordered, dragging her out of the cell and through the dark hallways until they found their way into the sunlight.

They ran for the cover of nearby trees, Merlin stumbling every few meters with her hands locked behind her back and her dress catching in the heels of her boots. Arthur stopped with a groan, waiting for her to catch up.

“We don’t have time for this!” he hissed, and she shot him an incredulous look.

“I’d be able to run faster if it weren’t for these chains! One of those keys might unlock them, will you check-?”

“No.” Arthur wasn’t about to let her enchant him. He leaned down to grab her around the waist, holding her over his shoulder and ignoring her loud protests as he ran.

He was just beginning to think that their escape had been successful when he heard it- the hooves hitting the ground as at least ten horses approached them. Merlin’s soft gasp told him she’d recognized it too, and he carefully set her down, hiding them behind a tree and knowing the chances of that actually helping conceal them were slim to none and seeing the proof of that when they were surrounded moments later.

“You have to get the chains off,” Merlin whispered, watching with wide eyes as the men dismounted and drew their swords. “Please, Arthur, you can’t fight them off by yourself, but I can, just get the chains off.”

Arthur didn’t hesitate. He could practically _feel_ the men closing in on them as he unlocked the chains and just had enough time to get his sword up to block the closest man’s blow. He fought him back, hearing Merlin’s cry and turning to see the rest of the men flying backwards, impossibly high in the air. He was caught off guard by his opponent, who hardly had time to take advantage of his distraction before he was also propelled away, landing unconscious after slamming into a tree. Merlin stood to his left, slowly lowering her outstretched hand.

“That wasn’t so bad now, was it? Couldn’t have just done that from the start and let me run by myself, had to _carry_ me like I’m some… some _damsel_ -”

“Just get on a horse,” he ordered roughly, effectively shutting her up- but not without seeing the hurt and disappointment in her eyes.

*

Night fell much too quickly for Arthur’s liking. “We should stop here,” he called reluctantly, slowing his horse to a steady walk. Merlin pulled up next to him.

“Don’t you think we ought to ride a bit further?” she asked, glancing behind them. “They could still be after us…”

“I know that, but we won’t have much of a choice when there’s no light. It would be stupid to try and keep going when we don’t know where we are and can’t see anything.”

Merlin raised her hand, and with a few whispered words the trail in front of them brightened, as if they were following their own small sun. Arthur fought the urge to gape at her (she’d just used _magic_ and that was _evil_ ) and he pressed his lips in a tight line as he nudged the horse back into action.

*

Arthur had pointedly avoided talking to Merlin for the remainder of the ride. Even as they sat around the fire, after they’d stopped for the night and Arthur was skinning the rabbit he’d caught (which he told himself was due to his skill and not just blind luck as he’d stumbled around in the dark), he kept his eyes down and didn’t respond to any of her hopeful conversation starters, like “At least it’s not too cold tonight” and “The stars look pretty, don’t they?”

He groaned, finding it difficult to use a sword where he really needed a dagger and really feeling the combined effects of his hunger, exhaustion, and headache. His stomach growled at him, and Merlin was at his side a few moments later, her cupped hands full of berries.

“Here,” she offered quietly. “I picked these while you were out hunting.”

“I don’t want them.” He turned away from her, stubborn, and she frowned.

“But you’re hungry.”

“Not enough to eat poisoned berries from a bloody witch, thanks,” he argued venomously, and she backed up quickly, sitting further away from him to eat the berries in silence. He couldn’t help the guilt that crashed into him like an avalanche as he glanced at her, curled into herself in the shadows. She was alone and scared, just as he was- probably more so- and she’d never done anything to hurt him, no matter how many times it would have been easy for her to. No matter how many times just that day that he had deserved it for being cruel to her.

He sat on the grass next to her once the meat was cooked, holding some out to her and smiling when she hesitantly accepted. He didn’t say anything as they ate, feeling much better with his stomach full of meat and the rest of the berries that Merlin offered once again and he accepted without complaint. He sighed, watching her as she tried to rub dirt out of her dress.

“My mother was killed by sorcery,” he told her, knowing it wouldn’t excuse his behavior, but hoping it might explain it a little. Merlin met his eyes and nodded slowly.

“My father told me about that. It’s why Uther hates magic so much.”

“Yes. And why he raised me to believe that magic is evil. But you use magic, and… well, when I really think about it, I refuse to believe that any part of _you_ is at all evil.” He smiled, happy to see her return it with one of her own.

“Magic is not good or evil, Arthur. It’s a tool, and sometimes bad people use it for bad reasons, like with swords. My father always told me I would be able to show you that, when I was your wife. That I would change things in Camelot for the people like us.”

Arthur couldn’t stop the exhausted laugh that passed his lips. “ _My_ father told me the opposite. He said I would be able to protect Ealdor by banning magic when I became king.”

“Ealdor is doing just fine with magic still around, thank you very much.” She smirked, pulling another laugh from him. She shivered, pulling the skirt of her dress tighter around her legs, and Arthur moved closer to wrap his arm loosely around her.

“We should move closer to the fire,” he suggested, trying not to grin too widely when she laid her head on his shoulder. He took it to mean he’d been forgiven.

“Not going to throw me in, are you?”

“Of course not,” he huffed, rolling his eyes. They stayed where they were for a few quiet moments before he leaned in to kiss her hair. “Come on, Princess. Let’s get some rest.”

*

The next day’s ride was entirely more comfortable. There was a feeling of confidence and safety at having made it through the night, and they were able to talk as they rode, having resolved the tension from the day before. Every time it crossed Arthur’s mind again, _she’s a witch,_ he reminded himself that Merlin had already had plenty of opportunities to harm him, and she’d never done it. He knew, seeing the way she smiled at him, sweet and pure and not even a little bit capable of evil, that she never would.

“So why did you start practicing magic?” he found himself asking after a brief period of silence between them.

“I was born with it,” she told him, almost hesitantly, like she expected him to be angry again. He was intrigued, because he never knew people could be _born_ with magic, which just had him launching into question after question that kept them occupied on the long and empty trails.

“How can you be born with it? Aren’t there spells you have to learn?”

“I can do a lot without spells, but they do help.”

“Did your parents know you would have magic?”

“They knew that it was very likely, yes. My father has magic, and his mother.”

“ _Balinor_ is a _sorcerer_?”

“Yes.”

“How did I not hear of this?”

“It is not commonly known, even to the people of our kingdom. He’s been especially careful ever since Uther declared war on those who practice magic. They always told me to be very, very cautious around him, and you. I was sure when you found out, you would kill me.”

“Is that why you were trying to run away?”

“Yes. I was scared for my life. Possibly with good reason. You didn’t exactly take it well.”

“I got better, though, didn’t I? I won’t turn you in. I don’t think you’re bad.”

“Thank you, Arthur.”

“… Will our children have magic?”

“Most likely. Does that bother you?”

“No. No, I think I’m alright with that.”

*

Arthur was sore in a number of places after getting knocked out and then riding for two days straight, and he was decidedly not fond of stairs. He kept the vision in his mind of a soft bed to collapse on, and warm food that he hoped had already been taken up to the room while he was stabling the horses. One of Merlin’s jeweled earrings had luckily been accepted as payment for the room- his princess had looked ready to kill if she didn’t get a good night’s sleep that night.

 _His princess_ , because after talking to her all day, it was perfectly clear that she was the same Merlin she had always been, with or without magic. He still felt the same way about her as he had before she’d come to Camelot that week, and while he’d heard of enchantments so powerful that people weren’t even aware they were enchanted, he really didn’t _feel_ like there was any magical influence on him- and, well, if there was, then it felt quite nice, actually. Warm and kind of fuzzy whenever he looked at her.

He valiantly defeated the treacherous steps, following the innkeeper’s direction to the furthest door on the left. He was ready to fill his belly and get into bed- _with_ Merlin, as they’d claimed to be married so they wouldn’t have to pay for two rooms. He hoped to at least give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek, and if he was lucky, be allowed some brief time with her lips as well (and if he was _really_ lucky, he’d get to hold her and imagine how it would be when they really were married, and how he would get to have the sweet warmth of her body pressed close to his as he slept every night).

That feeling of hope was strong as he pushed open the door, and was utterly forgotten in seconds as Merlin turned, surprised, giving him a full view of her bare body. He forgot she even had a face in those few exposed moments before she thought to grab the bed sheet, hurrying to cover up.

“I- I’m sorry,” Arthur stuttered, his normal brain function drastically reduced. “I didn’t… I should have, er, knocked.”

“That would have been nice,” Merlin agreed, her voice trembling as the embarrassed blush spread across her cheeks. It only made her more beautiful, rosy-cheeked and with only a sheet draped around her, her damp hair gently curled. “I was just washing up-”

And more talking, that just brought his attention to her lips, and he couldn’t stop himself. His lips were on hers in seconds, arms wrapping around her and pressing flat against the bare skin of her back. She kissed back hesitantly, still clutching at the sheet, and pulled away enough to look him in the eye.

“I would like to get dressed now,” she said quietly, still traumatized and looking around for her dress. Arthur gripped the hem of his shirt, yanking it over his head to offer it to her.

“Here. This should be more comfortable to sleep in than the dress.” He wanted to give her comfort. He wanted to give her the world, if it was what she wanted.

She nodded, careful to keep the sheet in place as she reached for the shirt. “Could you…” He blinked, questioning, and she sighed. “Could you _turn around_ , please?”

“Oh! Right, right.” He turned, taking a few deep breaths to try and control himself.

“Alright.” She laid the sheet on the bed again, and he turned just in time to see her before she crawled under it, her thighs on display sending another wave of lust through him. He splashed water on his face from the bowl she’d been using, running some through his hair and washing his chest. It wasn’t a bath, but it was better than nothing, and he didn’t have to worry too much about his smell as he climbed into bed with his princess.

They lay next to each other, listening to the sounds of their soft breathing and the muffled voices from the inn. Arthur longed to reach out and touch Merlin, anywhere and everywhere, and wondered if he might have fallen asleep and started dreaming when she rolled towards him, snuggling into his side.

“I’m a bit cold,” she confessed in a whisper, and he took it as an invitation to wrap his arms around her and pull her against his chest. She lazily ran her hand over the sprinkling of hair, the hard muscle underneath the softer flesh, and he had to bite back a moan. He’d lived his twenty-three years without the touch of a woman, without getting to feel what had been described to him (usually by a far more experienced Leon), and the temptation was far too strong as Merlin’s leg moved to rest between his own.

His hand moved to her thigh first, gently rubbing and slowly moving up and up and up. Her hand stilled against his chest, and he knew she’d realized his destination. He expected her to push his hand away, his heart beating faster when she spread her legs a bit more as permission.

His fingers reached her sex, and his breath came out shaky as he felt the warmth. She made a soft noise as he gently explored, like nothing he’d ever felt before- and then he found it, the spot where it dipped in and he could slowly sink his finger into her. He wished he could see it, the place where their bodies would eventually fit together, where he would bury himself in her and really make her his and no one else’s.

Her fingers curved in, nails scratching at his chest, and he recalled Leon’s directions for where to place his thumb, finding where it was swelled ever so slightly. He delighted in her soft whimper as he rubbed her, pressing lightly as instructed, his finger still probing the soft walls within her. Soon she was gripping his shoulders, her breath coming out in hot pants against his neck, and his cock throbbed in his trousers as she gasped and whimpers. She trembled and he could feel her tighten around his finger, and could only imagine how it would be when she constricted like that around _him_.

He kept his hand there, sliding his fingers through the wetness as her breathing settled. “Wow,” she mumbled, pulling his face towards her to connect their lips, kissing lazily. He eventually pulled his hand away, and she made herself comfortable against him. “Did you find a map?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah. We haven’t been going the right direction, but I know where to go now. Should take two more days to get to Camelot, if all goes well.”

“Good. That’s good.” Her fingertips ghosted down his stomach, unable to wipe the smile off her face. “Goodnight, Arthur.”

“Goodnight, Merlin.” Arthur wrapped an arm around her, holding her close and safe. He waited until he heard her soft breathing to slip his hand into his trousers, silently tugging himself off.

*

They walked after stopping to eat the next day, for no other reason than the opportunity to hold hands. The horses ambled alongside them as they held the reigns, and Arthur guessed they were happy to get a break after half a day of constant riding. They had been slowing the pace compared to the previous days, at least, making it more comfortable to talk to each other. Arthur told Merlin about Camelot and Merlin told Arthur about Ealdor, and they both recounted memories, funny or sad or just what they found interesting- it didn’t matter, as long as they were sharing.

And they’d been increasingly flirty. Glances and light touches and slightly suggestive comments, and Arthur had fallen in love with Merlin’s blush and happy giggle. He wondered, as he hung on her every word, learning who she was and where she’d been, if he hadn’t just fallen for her, period.

They joked and laughed and pushed playfully at each other’s shoulders, and finally Arthur couldn’t help but press her back against a nearby tree and claim her mouth with his own. Her arms circled his neck, keeping him close, and he couldn’t help but think of how unnecessary that was- as if he would ever want to pull away. He had to, though, when he heard noises through the trees, turning and seeing a flash of red cloth in the distance.

His hand went to the hilt of the stolen sword he still carried with him, and he noticed Merlin stood right at his side, alert and ready. She didn’t need protecting, he realized- didn’t have to cower behind him, when she was even stronger and more powerful than he was.

He was dumbstruck when he recognized the knights, who closed the distance between them with relieved smiles. “Arthur!” Leon cried, pulling him into a one armed hug. “We’ve been searching for you for days! And Princess Merlin, thank the gods you’re both alright.”

Arthur had to tell them of the bandits who had taken them to Claudas’ kingdom, and then they were riding again, without the privacy of before. Arthur was more than a little put out that they’d been interrupted- snogging Merlin was something he could happily do all day- and his eyes drifted to his princess repeatedly, full of longing as the group moved forward.

*

The knights had brought enough money with them to pay for the inn they stumbled into that night, all tired but mostly in a good mood, knowing they would be back in Camelot the next day. It was almost disappointing to Arthur, though- with the knights there, he wouldn’t get to share a room with Merlin. He agreed to room with Leon instead, getting Merlin her own room, with a bath so she could freshen up and be comfortable. He kissed her cheek with a “sleep well, Princess” and settled onto a bench with Leon in the pub, ordering up some mead and relaxing as they got caught up.

“Your father was beside himself, of course,” Leon told him, and Arthur sighed. Uther was too old to be getting so stressed, it wasn’t good for him. “Balinor, though… It was weird. He didn’t seem that worried, just confused. Thought you two must have run off together for some reason. Didn’t seem to think it could be bandits. Even after we found one of their bodies in the woods, he was doubtful.” His brow furrowed as he thought. “That’s odd, yeah? I expected him to be worse than Uther.”

Arthur understood why Balinor would be doubtful, though. Balinor was more aware than anyone of how powerful Merlin was, having magic himself- he’d trained her, seen everything she could do, and had no reason not to trust that she could take care of herself. Unfortunately, the bandits had mastered the strategy of strength in numbers, so even though she had managed to blast some back on her way to check on Arthur, as she’d told him not long before the knights arrived, they still manage to take her by surprise and knock her out so they could get the chains on her.

“Yeah, weird,” he agreed anyway, knowing he had no right to tell about Merlin’s magic yet. “Maybe he’s just not used to it, though. I don’t think Merlin gets kidnapped a lot in Ealdor.”

“That’s true. No one’s targeted as much as you, mate.” He grinned and Arthur had to laugh, because as much as he wished he could deny it, well, it did get a bit ridiculous. They finished their tankards and headed towards their room, Leon pausing just before they reached it. “Does Merlin know we’ll be leaving early tomorrow?”

“Oh. Probably not.” Arthur considered it, not knowing if it would make her cranky to have to get up if she thought she was going to be able to have a bit of a lie in, and not really wanting to risk it. “I’ll let her know, yeah?”

He went to her door, remembering to knock so he wouldn’t make a habit of walking in on her. “Come in,” she called, her voice slightly muffled by the door, and he opened the door, freezing when he saw her, hair wet and obviously nude body blocked by the wall of the tub.

“I’m sorry, so sorry, I thought I heard you say to come in-”

“I did,” she interrupted, biting her lip as the pretty blush he was so fond of colored her cheeks. She crooked her finger to gesture for him to come closer, and he managed to remember to close the door before eagerly obeying.

Merlin gripped his collar as he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her as if his life depended on it, and the fact that he was still fully clothed didn’t matter as she pulled backwards and he immediately followed into the water after her. She laughed against his lips, reaching for the ties of his trousers with a fond shake of her head.

“You got your clothes wet,” she told him, and his tongue sought hers again, because the state of his clothes meant less than nothing to him as her bare breasts pressed up against him. He was delighted when she didn’t stop him from touching them, caressing and groping and committing to memory the smooth, perfect curve-

And then her hand was in his trousers, elegant fingers circling his cock, and he gripped her hips out of need for something to hang on to. It was so much better than any of the times he’d had his hand on himself, and it was _her_ , his princess feeling and petting his length. He closed his hand around hers, guiding her into the firmer grip and steady strokes, and then he was unraveling, trying not to make too much noise as he took in the pleasure and warmth and sweet smell of whatever was in Merlin’s hair.

“I’ve made a mess of your bath,” he stated dumbly, and she laughed, pressing her lips to his neck and mumbling, and he watched it disappear. “Oh,” he murmured, and she trailed kisses up and down his neck.

“That was to thank you for last night,” she explained, her smile telling him it hadn’t just been a feeling of obligation.

“You did a very good job of it.” He was still a little dazed, and she gave him a chaste kiss- as chaste as it could be, with her body still wet and naked and very close to his own.

“Will anyone notice if you don’t go back to your room?”

Arthur rubbed his hands up her sides, nodding sadly. “Leon. Leon will notice.”

She looked equally disappointed, and he couldn’t help but take some joy from that. “Then you should go back.” She stepped out of his reach, bringing forth a slightly humiliating and very unprincely whine. He climbed out of the tub, tying up his trousers, and leaning in for the sweet goodbye kiss she pressed to his lips.

Back in his room, Leon watched him curiously as he undressed and blew out the candle before climbing into the bed across from his knight. “So you told her, then?” he asked, and Arthur looked at him, blinking.

“Told her what?”

“When we’re leaving.”

“Oh.” Arthur blushed, grateful that the color wouldn’t be too noticeable in just the moonlight. “No. I’ll get her up before we go.”

He could almost feel Leon’s smirk until he fell asleep.

*

Merlin turned towards the door when he entered her room the next morning, blinking her sleepy eyes at him. She reached out and he smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed as he took her hand.

“You’re up,” he stated softly, kissing her knuckles. She yawned, her face still pressed to the pillow as she nodded.

“Haven’t had much sleep,” she admitted. “Not as easy when I’m in an unfamiliar place _and_ alone.”

He stroked his thumb against her pouted lips, shifting to lie on his side next to her. “I’m sorry I had to leave you alone, Princess.”

“You ought to be,” she teased, running her fingers through his hair. “How can I ever make it to Camelot in a single day when I haven’t had any sleep?”

He laughed, tilting his head as she moved in and draping his arm over her. They stayed in bed for a few minutes, just kissing lazily as the dim light from the sunrise filtered in through the window.

“We need to get up,” he told her, their lips still touching. She frowned but didn’t resist, following him out of the bed and looking down at herself. With whispered words and a flash of gold, her dress was free of wrinkles and her hair back in its perfect, soft curls. Arthur stared, looking between the door and the window with a hissed, “What are you doing?”

She seemed surprised, quickly switching to cautious. “I thought you didn’t care about my-”

“Don’t say it,” he warned, glancing at the door again. “Anyone could have walked in, could have _seen_ you.”

“No one saw,” she objected, and he groaned.

“You’re going to make it very difficult to protect you, aren’t you?”

“Arthur.” She stepped closer, cupping his face in her hands. “You don’t have to worry about me, I promise. I’ve been doing this for a long time.”

“If anyone saw- They could tell my father. He would think I was enchanted if I tried to defend you, he would have you executed either way.”

“Uther could not hurt me,” she assured him, looking much too amused for the situation, which really wasn’t comforting. She saw his concern and sobered, leaning in to kiss him again. “I’ll be more careful, if that will make you feel better. No one will see.”

He accepted that, but couldn’t help a bit of worrying when they met the knights for a quick breakfast, finally calming when nothing disastrous had happened by the time they started to ride. She shot him a fond smile when she caught him watching her, as if she knew he was still being ridiculous but didn’t really mind.

The morning was perfectly pleasant, but by the middle of the day, Merlin was beginning to get cranky. They stopped to eat, the knights obviously hoping it would get her to stop grumbling and moaning, but Arthur knew it was the lack of sleep. He instructed his men to stop when they reached a stream to let the horses relax and drink.

“I don’t want to ride anymore,” Merlin whined when he approached her. She leaned into him when he pulled her into his arms, closing her eyes. “We’ve been riding for _days_ , and I’m so tired.”

“I know,” he murmured, rubbing her back soothingly. “Why don’t you ride with me? You can rest; I give you my word that I won’t let you fall off.”

She laughed, agreeing and sneaking a kiss to his neck before he tied her horse to his. She sat side-saddle in front of him, leaning back against his chest with his arm around her to keep her steady.

She’d long since fallen asleep when Camelot came into view, her soft breathing still steady when they reached the castle just before dark. He’d sent Leon up ahead to alert the court that they were close, and found Hunith and Balinor waiting for them on the castle steps.

“Merlin, wake up.” He nudged her, and her parents were already at their side.

“What’s happened to her?” Hunith demanded, panicked. Even Balinor looked worried, despite what Leon had said. Merlin rubbed her eyes, mumbling unintelligibly, yawning, and trying again.

“Was asleep,” she murmured, slowly smiling when her eyes moved from her parents to the castle and back. “We made it.”

Balinor helped her down and Arthur dismounted after, missing the comforting warmth of her body against his. Leon approached to tell him Uther was expecting him, and he had to bid goodnight to the Ealdor royals. He couldn’t help the pang of loss when Merlin was out of his sight.

*

Returning to his room was bittersweet. It was nice to be home, of course, but his father had told him that the wedding was to be delayed- after the kidnapping incident, Hunith insisted on Merlin going back to Ealdor for a while longer. She would only remain in Camelot for a few days and then she’d be back in her own kingdom, where he might not see her for another year.

He bit angrily into his bread, vowing not to let that happen. He would find the time to visit her- couldn’t possibly stay away, now that he was quite sure he’d fallen in love with her.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock and he frowned- he’d dismissed his servant for the night and wasn’t expecting anyone. “Come in,” he called, standing when the door opened and Balinor entered the room. “Lord Balinor, good evening.”

“Arthur.” Balinor nodded, and Arthur hoped the serious expression was just normal for him, and not because he was trying to be intimidating. “Is this an inconvenient time?”

“No, of course not. What can I do for you?”

“Merlin told me about your journey,” he explained. “About what you found out, and how you took care of her.” Gods, Arthur prayed Merlin hadn’t told him _everything_ about him taking care of her. “She says you were accepting of her… power. Is that true?”

“Oh, yes.” Of course, Balinor would want to make sure he wouldn’t tell Uther, start a hunt for Merlin’s life. “Yes, of course. Her secret is safe with me. _She_ is safe with me.”

Balinor eyed him carefully. “You are a good man, Arthur. I feared your father would have too much influence on you, but I believe now. You’re destined to be a great king, with Merlin at your side. I’m sorry about the wedding being pushed back. Hunith will never truly realize how much power Merlin has. She gets worried…”

“I understand,” Arthur assured, knowing it wouldn’t help any to express how unhappy he was with the situation. “We were taken by surprise, and Merlin _was_ in danger. She was right to worry, but you can trust I won’t let anything like it happen to her again.”

Balinor nodded again, moving towards the door. “You’ll have a few more days with her before we go,” he reminded, offering a small smile. “Treat her right.”

 

***

 

The journey was long, as it always was, but Merlin was full of energy. She wanted to get the horse running, cross the same distance in hours as they had in days, as she would have if she were riding alone. Accompanied by her parents, a handful of servants, and a number of Ealdor’s knights, they were traveling at a dreadfully slow pace.

“Are you excited?” Gwen asked when they could finally see Camelot, her maidservant always remaining close in case she needed something. “Everyone’s thrilled. Not that you’ll be leaving, of course, my lady. They’ll all miss you terribly. But to be marrying a king at your age, a powerful one, and someone as handsome as Arthur…”

“I’m very lucky, yes.” Merlin smiled, her eyes locked on the castle as she thought of Arthur. They’d exchanged a few letters in the eight months since she’d had to return to Ealdor, and she cherished them, but it wasn’t the same as seeing him in person. She understood, of course, that he’d been much too busy to visit, and with every new letter he expressed just how much he regretted that. He told her how much he missed her, and how often he thought of her, and she had more than once suggested that she at least be allowed to visit him, only to have Balinor regretfully remind her that Camelot wasn’t quite stable with their new king yet, and it wouldn’t be wise for her to travel there.

She just hoped that in their time apart, Arthur hadn’t changed too much.

She was taken to the throne room as soon as they arrived at the castle, Merlin insisting that she see Arthur immediately. He jumped when the doors opened, looking frazzled, as though he’d been doing that all day, knowing that one of the times it would finally be _her._ He grinned, standing from his throne and crossing the room towards her, and she met him halfway in a tight embrace. His breathing was ragged against her ear, clutching her close as if he feared she would disappear at any second.

“You’re here, you’re finally here,” he whispered, pulling back enough to kiss her, slow and sweet and happy. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you again.”

“I would have come sooner, if I could,” she promised, then, remembering, “I’m so sorry about your father.”

It was true in the way that she would be sorry for anything that upset Arthur, and he nodded, taking her hands in his. “He was a great king, but we all have our time. And I’m ready to lead this kingdom.” His smile brightened as he added, “all the better with my queen finally at my side, where she belongs.”

“Happy to be of service,” she told him, grinning, and he pulled her close again, not quite ready to let her go.

*

The horns blared as he walked through the doors with steady strides, dressed in his chainmail and red cape, his crown fixed just right on his head and his hand on the hilt of his best sword. He moved with collected confidence, but inside his stomach fluttered. He concentrated on even breathing as he stood before Geoffrey, the many knights and nobles watching him until the doors opened again, and then the entire room had its eyes on Merlin.

Her dress was silvery white, flowing down in the same way that her hair did- somehow perfect and wild at once. He could see the tips of her ears peeking out from the waves of silky black, and he longed to just hold her and kiss her until they forgot that anyone else was in the room, but she was being escorted by Balinor, who led her to him with a trusting nod, and Arthur held out his hands to take hers, letting it all happen the way it was meant to.

“My lords, ladies and gentlemen of Camelot,” Geoffrey began, and Arthur could hardly focus, the excitement welling up within him. He tuned in to hear, “Is it your wish, Arthur, to become one with this woman?”

“It is,” he stated, squeezing Merlin’s hands, and grinning when she gave the same answer. Geoffrey tied the garland around their joined hands, binding their hands and their hearts for all eternity, and Arthur waited until he heard the final words.

“I now pronounce you to be husband and wife.” Arthur finally was able to lean in and feel Merlin’s lips against his, chaste, as the audience clapped. He was elated- finally, Merlin was as his as he was hers, recognized by all.

There was plenty of food and wine and dancing, in the court and in the town, as everyone celebrated a new queen of Camelot, and the official union of Camelot and Ealdor. Arthur was overjoyed to sit next to her at the head of the table as the court enjoyed a specially prepared feast, but found as the night went on that he wasn’t getting nearly enough time with her. They were being pulled into too many conversations, being congratulated repeatedly and having to dance more with noble lords and ladies than with each other.

The more time went on, the drunker and louder the room became, and he managed to spot her alone when he had just managed to shake the attention of an obnoxious visiting princess. He tried to be as subtle as possible as he made his way over, sure if anyone saw that he was actually going to get a moment of peace with his new wife, they would have some strange urge to sabotage it.

“This has been the longest night of my life,” he murmured against her ear, surprising her as he slipped an arm around her from behind. “Having to see you look so beautiful and never getting a chance to actually come over and talk to you. These people are like hounds.”

She laughed, leaning into him. “They all look pretty distracted now. Think they’ll notice if we slip out?”

“Not a chance.” He pulled her towards the door, his grin almost fading when Balinor caught his eye, but the king just smiled and turned back to Hunith, letting the newlyweds sneak out and have the rest of the night for their own.

*

“Don’t you get hot under all these layers?” Merlin wondered, folding Arthur’s cape and setting it on the table. She removed his chainmail next, careful as she laid down piece after piece.

“Baking,” he admitted, smiling when he was finally down to just trousers. He could only watch as she reached for the strings, her eyes sparkling mischievously. “Hang on, why do you still have all of your clothes?” he asked, feeling a bit exposed as his trousers fell down to his ankles while she was still fully dressed.

She smirked, her eyes flashing gold and her dress instantly pooling on the floor around her feet. She was left in only her crown, which she carefully removed to place next to his.

“Now _that_ is a good trick,” Arthur breathed, his eyes fixed on her body, bare and waiting to be taken. He stumbled and hopped as he got his boots off, finally getting free of his trousers and instantly going for her, lifting and carrying her to the bed. She was grinning at him, but he could see the hint of anxiety in her eyes, and he kissed her, trying to assure her through touch that he was there and he would take care of her. Their bodies pressed together as they kissed, taking their time, his arousal growing where it was against her warm thigh. She whimpered as his fingertips touched where she was most sensitive, exploring just as they had the night at the inn, and he soon had her hips jerking up into his touch.

She was wet and wanting and she pulled his hips closer, her legs open and welcoming. His heart was racing as he positioned his cock at her entrance, and then he was _inside_ of her, connecting his body to hers in the most intimate of ways, bit by bit. Her brow furrowed, mouth twisted with pain until her eyes shone like the sun again and suddenly he was able to slide in easier, fitting perfectly. She smiled, relieved and adoring as he kept his movements slow, savoring every moment of the greatest pleasure he’d ever felt.

And then he couldn’t be slow anymore, he had to _take_ her, thrusting into her with abandon while she moaned and begged and gasped. His name on her lips took him to the peak of his pleasure, hips bucking forward as he shot into her. She grasped his shoulders as they both panted for breath, and then he was moving down, his tongue swirling over the swell just as he’d been told about.

She came apart with the most beautiful of sounds, all of the candles in the room lighting at once. Arthur grinned, lying at her side so he could touch and admire as she took a moment to calm her racing heart.

“Worth the wait?” she finally asked, and Arthur let out a booming laugh.

“Very much so,” he assured, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “My queen.”

“And my king,” she returned fondly. “I’ve heard good things. The people already love you.”

“There do seem to be less attempts made on my life,” he agreed, thoughtful. “I don’t think my father was a bad ruler, but there were things that he was gravely wrong about.”

“Like magic?”

“Exactly. I’m hoping that, when changes are made, there will finally be some peace in Camelot.” He sighed, pressing gentle kisses to her shoulder. “Do you think I’ll ever be forgiven for all the things my father did?”

“You shouldn’t have to apologize for his crimes, Arthur.” He was still unsure, but her hands running through his hair were comforting. “You’re really going to lift the ban on magic?”

“I’ve already changed the law so it isn’t punishable by death. It’s a step, but people are still afraid.” He grinned at her, pressing closer. “Tomorrow, we’ll go into the town, and you’ll show them the amazing things you can do. Set an example, so that they can see how magic can be used for good.”

“Magic will return to the land and Camelot will prosper. Destiny.”

“Your father said something about destiny,” Arthur remembered. “That I was destined to be a great king.”

“You are. There are old stories that talk about you, and all the incredible things you’ll do. What a great king you’ll be.”

He took her hand, lacing their fingers together. “Sounds like a good deal of responsibility, being a great king. That’s quite a lot of pressure.”

“I think you can handle it. You’ve got me, after all.”

“I wouldn’t imagine becoming great without you,” he assured with a laugh. He watched her, exposed but still confident and so very, very beautiful against his sheets that it took his breath away. “You know that I love you, don’t you, Merlin?”

Her eyes met his, and she nodded. He didn’t need to hear it back, because he could see it as she looked at him with such passion and fondness. Still, the words, the “I love you too, my king,” were like music to his ears. She would be at his side every day and in his bed every night, and that would be what got him through whatever destiny had to throw at him.

He rolled over her, ready to claim her body again. At that moment, the only future he cared about was the long night ahead.

**Author's Note:**

> On LJ [here](http://undrsomestairs.livejournal.com/21164.html).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Cover for "Time, Truth, and Hearts by Undersomestairs"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6194329) by [PeggyStarkk (LupusUlulans)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LupusUlulans/pseuds/PeggyStarkk)




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